Monday Gets A Birthday Celebration

I had the wonderful experience of celebrating my son’s birthday in a special kind of way this year.  He had taken an amazing trip to parts of Europe and I flew to NYC to meet him on his return trip.  We spent the evening celebrating his special day with family.  It is so nice to celebrate a birthday with people all around that love you.

The next day we took a little ‘walk down memory lane’ and visited special places in his early life.  We went to the hospital where he was born, visited the tiny little carriage house where we lived until he was about six months old, went to his elementary school and even went to get a pizza from a special restaurant that we had always loved.

Some things had changed drastically, but some things were almost exactly the same.  And some things for me were exactly the same….but for my son (who had experienced them at a very young age) found them shockingly different.  His memory of a house way down the lane was actually just a few hundred feet across the street.  A hill that he had remembered to be almost insurmountable as he learned to ride his bike was actually just a small hump in the road.

Isn’t it funny how our brain takes a picture of something that we think will never change?  We live with that memory for a long time and would swear that we knew every little detail of the image.  But….then we see it years later and it is so awkward and different from the memory we had been recalling over and over.  It makes me want to take a picture of every thing I see, so that I can keep referring to it and keeping the vision accurate in my mind.

I think it is different with people we love and care about though.  We spend time with someone and somehow we connect to more of what is inside them rather than what is on the surface.  We may not see them for a very long time; but yet when we do reunite, it seems like nothing has changed and we have somehow been close to them the whole time.  We still laugh at the same silly things and remember many insignificant events and know every detail of its happening.  After a while, we don’t even register that this person’s face is sometimes drawn with lines of age or their hair is far from the original color of their youth.  We just ‘see’ the person we remembered long ago.   Isn’t it interesting how our heart “captures” pictures that our brain doesn’t seem to be able to recall?!!

There are lots of happenings that I don’t remember about my son’s early years, but yet I can recall with great detail the first moment of seeing his face.  I can remember his sweet smell and the feel of his pudgy body.   I can remember sitting alone with him the first night in the hospital nursery and rocking him quietly as he slept.  I can remember feeling the fear that I wouldn’t be a good enough Mom or the overwhelming quantity of things that I needed to learn in order to take good care of him.  I can also remember the joy and love I felt for this tiny little being and how I promised him that night that I would always do my very best to protect him and teach him and help him grow.  Yes, my heart captured a very clear picture that first birthday night…..the sweet love of my life was born!

I hope you have a few of these joyful recalls in your life.

Take some time to just sit and let your mind return to some of those heartfelt moments……there is no better medicine!

When you let yourself ‘re-live’ some of those special times in your life,

it feels like you are floating on clouds and there is nothing that is wrong or negative in this world.

And be sure to create some new memories too.

Don’t let yourself get caught up in all the details of an event, but rather just focus on the people that you are with at the moment.

Be sure to let your heart take a snapshot!

In fact….do it today.

It’s Monday….a good day to start.

Smiles,

Nancy

Monday Gets A Parenthood Degree

I recently went to a celebration for friends who were celebrating the amazing fact that they are going to be parents soon.  Their baby is due right after the first of 2013 and they had a get-together with friends to commemorate the soon to be happening.  It is so exciting and an amazing event for this couple.  They are two awesome individuals, who I think will, for certain, be super parents.

Hmmmm……What does that mean?  Super Parents.  There is no test or exam for this certification and no one has a manual to hand over to you.  The ‘homework’ takes years to complete and “success” is sometimes questionable.  Rewards are many…but the number of trials and tribulations far out weigh the number of bonus points gained.  You sometimes get thanks for your efforts….and sometimes not.  You find yourself constantly questioning your expertise and struggle to keep your head above water….and often, only one step ahead of a toddler’s IQ or a 13-year-old-going-on-21, who is certain they hold all the wisdom in the world.  And, so why do so many pursue this degree called Parenthood?  Let’s discuss….

 Monday Gets A Parenthood Degree

I still remember all the excitement and enthusiasm leading to the birth of my son.  So many things to do in order to be ready for the big day.  And, for nine months, you are always the star of the moment.   And then….that big day arrives and the reality sets in.  OMG!!  What the heck do I do now??!!  For me, the terror of knowing that I had to care for this tiny little prize….and not break it, consumed my thoughts constantly.  One wrong turn or move and I might harm this precious child.   I tell my son now that he was kind of my “lab guinea pig”.  He always laughs, but somehow I will never be able to convey to him what a novice parent I really was. All I know is that he’s a lucky boy to still be all in one piece!!   I would continuously read everything I possibly could to try to find the magic instructions to be the best parent possible.

Well, long story short……He did survive and so did I.  And, did I pass the test and get my Parenthood Degree?  Yes, I did….but some days it was questionable.  What I did learn along the way was there are really only a few rules to learn.  The only thing that matters is that you love your child with all your heart and tell them that you do every single day.  It’s really getting back to what I tell all of you….You Matter!  That really is all the child needs most of the time outside of the necessities of food, clothing and shelter.  If you truly feel that love in your heart and you are able to convey that to your child, then I really think everything else will fall into place.  For those that have experienced this love for a child, you know that overwhelming gush of starry-eyed elation that I am talking about, right?  For those of you who have not, I truly hope you have the experience one day. It is like none other!!  There are no words to describe the depth of love that I feel for my child.  Being his parent makes me complete and gives me a strength that could move mountains if needed.  It is a love that will not die or fade and it grows stronger every day.

So I am proud of my Parenthood Degree…..more than anything else I have accomplished in my life.  And, for my friends who are about to step into that precious “cap and gown” moment, I feel your joy and excitement.  My happiness for you is bubbling over.  But most of all, I am happy for this yet born child.  He will have two “super” parents who will love him more than he could ever imagine.  He will know from Day One that he is special and that he matters every single day.

So, do you have a Parenthood Degree?

Take the opportunity today to tell your own son or daughter how much you love them.  Tell them how proud you are to be their parent too.  They need to hear it.

Joining the ranks of Parenthood comes in all forms you know? If you don’t have children of your own, there are many kids of all ages who would love to know that someone cares about them…..to have someone to assure them that they’re going to be all right.  To hear those words “I love you” are priceless.

 So make today special for your child….or some child’s life who really needs to feel that comforting circle of love.

I guarantee you the special feeling that comes back to you will be filled with much joy.

  Oops!  I gotta go….my son just called and he’s on his way over.

I can’t wait to give him a big hug!

Boy!  Do I ever love my Parenthood career!!

You Matter.

Smiles, Nancy